Friday, February 11, 2005

Effing Makes the World Go Round

Cheneyville, Wyoming
42° 31' North; 104°52' West



Effing North............
"Government House Leader and Labour Minister Graham "Friggin'" Bruce's twentysomething son will be getting some temporary employment during the upcoming election. Friggin' Public Eye has learned Ryan has been appointed the minister's friggin' campaign manager. We wish this father and son team the best of friggin' luck. Friggin' New Democrat Doug Routley, a friggin' school district trustee, is running against Minister Bruce in Cowichan-Ladysmith."


Effing South......
"Inside, Rove was talking to an aide about some political stratagem in some state that had gone awry and a political operative who had displeased him. I paid it no mind and reviewed a jotted list of questions I hoped to ask. But after a moment, it was like ignoring a tornado flinging parked cars. "We will f**k him. Do you hear me? We will f**k him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever f**ked him!" . . . This went on without a break for a minute or two. Then the aide slipped out looking a bit ashen, and Rove, his face ruddy from the exertions of the past few moments, looked at me and smiled a gentle, Clarence-the-Angel smile. "Come on in." And I did."

Family values, indeed.

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