Monday, March 21, 2005

Big Frank and the Shillophant

Potterville
CapraCornifornia


Listen.

I know a lot of things are better now than when I was a kid.

Especially our inclusiveness towards each other - in almost all of our forms.

But sometimes I wonder why we have decided to give so much of it up.

Why we have convinced ourselves that hopping into the excrement at the bottom of the Neandercon's Newly Gilded Cage is a good place to be.

In fact, it's gotten to the point where I sometimes figure we've crossed over to the darkside of a Frank Capra story.

You know, like that part in 'It's a Wonderful Life' where Bedford Falls turns into Potterville.

Case in point: Casinos everywhere.

Don't get me wrong. I like Casinos and I like Vegas.

It's just that I also like to drive through the bats near Barstow to get there, get stupid for a few days, stop to hit fungos in the desert on the way home, and then get on with my life.

What I don't like is going for a bike ride with my kids along Vancouver's Seawall and then, suddenly, out of nowhere having to run a gauntlet of Security, Stepford Molls, and Pseudo-Sopranos as we pass the old Expo '86 site.

And if it was only the Mob running a shady show I might be able to live with it.

But what I can't handle is the likes of Big Frank Stronach slathering it up as good 'ol fashioned fun and wholesome entertainment for the Entire Noocuelar Family.

Belinda's included.

And never forget that Potter.....errrrr....Stronach always has his legitimizing ducks in a row.

Why else would he have recently hired former US Ambassador, and Rovian Shillophant, Paul 'Gucci' Celluci, to help smooth things over both North and South of the border.

Influence doesn't come any better than that.

But then again, hey!

Maybe if Big Frank really steps up to the plate and becomes a Super Ranger, "Craps at the Casino" and "Trifectas at the Track" will become a Keystone Investment Golden Arm of that Social Security Privatization Plan that has not quite yet emerged from Mr. Bush's Brain.

____
Update: Patricia over at Blondesense has the South of 49th view on SS 'Gambling Account's in a fabulous bit of snarkolepsy she calls 'Viva Lost Wages'
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